


the one where liam finds out why zayn left the band

by britishboybums



Category: One Direction, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Happy Ending, LIAM TOPS, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:30:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishboybums/pseuds/britishboybums
Summary: the one where liam finds out why zayn left the band





	the one where liam finds out why zayn left the band

liam stumbled into his house going straight into his kitchen grabbing another beer, already missing the burn in his throat after leaving the bar.

once he grabbed the beer he walked into his living room and fell onto the couch, his mind instantly going to the man who used to be his best friend, as he gulped down the beer. he couldn't seem to get zayn out of his head, sober or drunk.

liam finished off his beer and set the bottle onto the table next to him. he sighed not knowing what to do to get zayn off his mind. ever since the hiatus started he's been getting drunk off his ass more then ever just trying to forget about zayn, the man he loved. but the only thing he could seem to forget was his own name.

all liam wanted to know was why zayn left the band. was it his fault? did he do something that made zayn hate him? they used to be the closest out of everyone else in the band and liam thought nothing would change after zayn left, that they would still be best friends and talk on a daily basis, but they haven't spoken in months. and liam is slowly starting to lose his mind.

he reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone and went to his contacts to call the only person who knew the full reason why zayn left the band.

"louis?" liam slurred when he heard the friend pick up the phone.

"liam why the hell are you calling at one in the morning, you should be asleep."

"i can't sleep." liam slurred.

"are you drunk?"

"maybe, i don't know." liam said.

"liam, mate, go to sleep."

"no, i can't. not since he left. you know i haven't been sleeping well."

"i know. I'm sorry." louis replied with a sigh.

"why did zayn leave? i thought he loved the band. i thought he loved us."

"he does love us."

"then why hasn't he called me?"

"because," louis sighed. "he's scared."

"scared of what?" liam felt a lump grow in his throat and he knew that he would start crying soon.

"scared that he's going to regret his decision to leave the band if he calls you."

"why did he leave?" 

"i can't tell you, I'm sorry."

"why can't you tell me? how come he can tell you why he left but not me?"

"this is something that you need to talk to zayn about."

"how the hell am i going to talk to zayn about this? he hasn't talked to me since he left!" liam cried.

"look," louis paused before continuing "just call him tomorrow and ask him."

"he's not going to answer me, he doesn't want to talk to me." liam mumbled through the phone

"he does want to talk to you, he's just scared. i'll talk to him and tell him to answer the phone when you call him, but first you need to go to sleep. your drunk, liam, you can't call him when your drunk."

"i like being drunk"

"you shouldn't like being drunk."

"but i do." liam shot back.

"go to sleep."

"no, I'm too sad."

"i'm coming over."

"why."

"because i know you don't like being alone when your sad, and your drunk, sadness and being drunk doesn't mix well. you always get sad when your drunk." louis said into the phone.

"no, i'm fine. i don't need someone to watch over me."

"im not watching over you I'm just being a good friend."

"okay." liam gave in.

"thank you. i'll be over soon. please don't do anything stupid while you're alone."

"yeah, okay" liam pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up before tossing his phone onto the table. he stood up from the couch and stumbled back into his kitchen grabbing another beer. he quickly popped the cap off and began drinking it. by the time louis arrived liam had already polished off the beer, hoping to get another one but was stopped by louis who pulled all his beer out of the refrigerator and poured it down the sink.

"louis!" liam whined. 

"what?"

"you poured all my beer down the sink. i wasn't done drinking it"

"you don't need anymore beer, now here drink some water." louis handed liam a glass of water that he made after he disposed of the beer. liam sighed but grabbed the water from louis and drank it.

"thank you, now do you want to shower or just go to sleep."

"i want you to tell me why zayn left."

"liam, i already told you it's not my place to tell you. just call him tomorrow and talk to him about it."

"i can't."

"why not" louis questioned

"I love him." liam admitted.

"we all love him, he's like a brother to us." louis replied, resting his hand on liam's shoulder trying to comfort him.

"no, i'm in love with him" liam admitted. he never told anyone about his feelings for his best friend. he blames his drunkness for this.

louis smiled slightly before replying, "okay, that's fine. call him tomorrow. you need to go to sleep, you can just shower tomorrow"

louis walked with him to his bedroom. once liam had stripped of his clothes except for his boxers, and was laying in his bed under the covers, louis went to leave the room.

"wait." liam called out. "stay"

"i was already planning on sleeping on the couch. don't worry I'll be here tomorrow when you wake up." louis replied. liam nodded before closing his eyes. louis turned back around and left the room going back to the living room.

once louis reached the living room he pulled out his phone and dialed zayn's number, not caring that he was most likely going to wake him up.

"louis, what the hell man, why are you calling me?" zayn answered the phone, sleep heavy in his voice.

"liam is going to call you tomorrow and you have to talk to him."

"what, no, i can't. you know that."

"mate, he's a mess, he has been getting drunk almost every night since the hiatus began."

"why?"

"he can't figure out why you left the band, he wants to know why i know the whole reason on why you left and he doesn't" louis explained.

"i can't tell him why i left, it'll ruin our friendship." zayn said, sadness in his voice.

"you already ruined your friendship with him, you've ignored his calls for months. if you don't talk to him soon he'll lose his mind. i'm already scared that he's beginning to get depressed."

"i don't know." zayn whispered.

"look, he's going to call you tomorrow and you need to answer and tell him the truth."

"what if he hates me though."

"he isn't going hate you, just talk to him, you can't keep ignoring him." louis reassured. 

"okay." zayn finally gave in.

"thank you." louis sighed.

//

zayn sighed when he got off the phone with louis. he was scared to talk to liam tomorrow. when he left the band, it wasn't zayns intentions to ignore liam, but he didn't want to have to tell him the reason on why he decided to leave the band. zayn considered on continuing to ignore liam and not answer his call tomorrow, but he couldn't keep dodging his once best friend. he knew he would have to tell him the truth tomorrow- even if he didn't want to.

zayn soon closed his eyes, trying to fall back asleep, not wanting the morning to come.

but like always, the morning would come - always sooner than you want - and zayn hated it.

//

liam groaned as he walked into the living room and sunlight from the window entered his vision. he glanced around the room and his eyes fell on louis' body that was asleep on the couch. liam didn't remember much from last night but he vaguely remembers calling louis and louis coming over.

liam averted his eyes from the couch to the clock to see what time it was. the clock read 9:42, to early for a hungover liam to be awake. he shuffled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water before reaching for a bottle of pain relievers-kept he kept in his kitchen for mornings like this, which were becoming more and more frequent.

liam stayed in the kitchen until he finished his glass of water. when he walked back into the living room louis was now awake and was sitting on the couch wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

"hey mate." louis said once he noticed liam's presence.

"you know i have a guest room you could have stayed in instead of sleeping on my couch."

"sorry, wasn't thinking about that." louis apologized. "how are you feeling?"

"hungover, but other than that good."

"do you remember anything from last night?" louis asked.

"yeah, somethings." liam nodded "i remember calling you and you coming over and telling me i had to call zayn today; which i'm not doing."

"yes you are, i already talked to zayn and told him not to ignore your call."

"lou, i really don't want to call him, when i was drunk you convinced me that it was a good idea, but now i'm not drunk and i think it's a bad idea."

"too bad, you're calling him." louis insisted.

"why do i have to? i think that if i'm fine never talking to him again i shouldn't have to call him." liam said.

"but you‘re not okay with never talking to him again. if you were okay with it you wouldn't be getting drunk more nights than you are sober."

"okay, so, maybe i'm not okay with it but zayn was okay with ignoring my calls so i have to learn to be okay with never talking to him again."

"just call him. i'm not leaving until you call him."

"then i guess you're never leaving." liam shrugged.

"liam." louis said, getting annoyed with his friend.

"fine," liam gave in "if it makes you happy i'll call him, but i'm sure as hell not doing it with you around so you need to leave if you want me to call him."

"okay, but if you don't call him i will drag you to his place to make you talk to him face to face."

"whatever, i'm going back to sleep.i'll call him later." liam grumbled before walking off to his room.

the next time liam woke up it was almost noon. he climbed out of his bed and made his way into the living room only to find that louis was gone. liam sighed deeply knowing that since louis was now gone, he would have to call zayn.

liam wondered how zayn was feeling about this. louis told him that he called zayn telling him that liam would call him today. did zayn want to talk to liam? was he nervous to talk to liam? was louis forcing him into this like louis was forcing liam into this?

liam walked backed into his room and grabbed his phone. he slowly dialed zayn's number - having his number memorized by heart. when he hit call his brought the phone up to his ear and nervously waited for zayn to pick up. after it rang a few times liam began to think zayn wouldn't answer. but right as he thought that, zayn answered the phone.

"hello." the quiet bradford boy spoke.

"z-zayn, hi." liam nervously said.

"how are you?"

"why'd you leave the band?" liam blurted out, it was now or never. if he didn't ask now he would never have the guts to. liam heard zayn sigh before he began to speak.

"it's not something i want to say over the phone, i'd rather do it in person." zayn spoke

"can i come over then?" liam timidly asked.

"of course, come over whenever your ready."

"i'll be there in about an hour" liam whispered.

"okay, see you then." zayn replied before hanging up. when liam pulled the phone away from his face and set it down he took a second to close his eyes and take in what just happened. he was going to see zayn in person within the hour. once liam took some time to take in what just happened he made his way to his bathroom and climbed into the shower.

//

zayn paced nervously around his house as he waited for liam to arrive, he would be here any minute now. zayn didn't know what he was going to say when liam arrived. would he tell him the truth on why he left the band? or would he make up some bullshit reason that liam wouldn't even believe?

before zayn could think any further on what he was going to say a knock interrupted his thoughts. his head snapped to the door and his heart began to race as he began to make his way towards the door so he could let liam in.

"hi." zayn quietly said as he opened the door further and moved out of the way so liam could make his way into the house. when he was fully in the house, zayn closed the door and turned to liam who was awkwardly standing there. "how are you?" zayn asked.

"louis said that he talked to you and i'm assuming he told you i'm not doing as good as i could be." liam spoke for the first time.

"he told me that you've been getting drunk almost every night." zayn said and liam replied with a weak 'yeah'. "you shouldn't be getting drunk that often, it's not good."

"yeah, well, it's your fault, so." liam shrugged.

"i didn't want to leave the band."

"but you did." liam snapped.

"i had to leave."

"why did management make you leave or something?" liam asked, hoping that maybe zayn really didn't want to leave and it was all management's fault that he was gone.

"no, i choose to leave."

"so what you're saying is, you didn't want to leave but you choose to leave?"

"i loved being in that band, i loved singing and preforming and being able to spend time with you and the other boys, but there was stuff going on in my life and i had to leave. it wasn’t good for me to stay.”

"what was going on in your life that made you stop talking to me-your best mate- but you were able to tell louis!" liam said, voice slowly getting louder.

"i was scared to tell you! i didn't know how you would react!" zayn said, voice equally as loud as liam's.

"you didn't know how to react so you decided to not tell me?"

"yes." zayn whispered.

"tell me." liam demanded.

"no, i can't."

"yes, you can, you just don't want to." liam said getting mad.

"because i still don't know how you're going to react! if you react bad i'm scared you'll hate me for the rest of your life, but if you don't have a bad reaction i'm worried that i'll regret leaving one direction."

"how would me having a good reaction make you regret leaving the band?"

"because i- i just- i don't know how to explain it!"

"tell me why you left the band!" liam screamed.

"because i fucking love you!" zayn screamed back before slapping a hand over his mouth, already regretting that he admitted it.

"what?" liam asked, voice almost as quiet as a whisper. liam had to have heard zayn wrong. there's no way that zayn loved him. zayn was straight. He had a girlfriend for years.

"i'm in love with you." zayn's voice cracked, eyes beginning to fill with tears. he couldn't believe he admitted that to liam. he never admitted it to anyone but louis. zayn tried to blink away the tears, but it was already too late. they were already falling down his face. he turned his face so he was looking down at the floor, not wanting zayn to see him cry.

"zayn." liam whispered. trying to get him to look back up at him.

"please just leave, liam." zayn said, still looking down at floor.

"no."

"you came here to know why i left the band and now you do so you can just leave."

"just look at me." liam begged and sighed when zayn shook his head, refusing to look at liam. "zayn, please. i'm not mad."

"you're not mad?" zayn said slowly lifting his head up to look at liam - tears still on his face.

"no," liam shook his head "truth is, i love you too."

"really?" zayn said in a small voice, a small smile beginning to form on his face.

"yeah, that's why i was so broken when you left and refused to talk to me. 's why i've been getting drunk so much- i couldn't figure out why you stopped talking to me but continued to talk to louis." liam explained, a small smile also on his face.

"i'm sorry," zayn said quietly "can i hug you?" zayn asked, slowly stepping towards liam.

"please." liam nodded before taking a few small steps towards zayn and wrapping his arms around him, zayn doing the same thing to liam.

when zayn began to pull away from liam, liam moved his hands so they were resting gently on the back of zayn's neck. he glanced into zayn's eyes before surging forward and connecting his lips with zayn's.

as soon as zayn felt his lips touch liam's his eyes shut and his hands flew to rest on liam's hips. since this was their was their first kiss zayn assumed that it would be slow and not rushed at all, but liam had other plans. liam ran his tongue across zayn's bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. when zayn opened his mouth slightly liam pushed his tongue in, exploring zayn's mouth. soon after, liam pulled away from zayn but not before lightly biting on zayn's lower lip causing zayn to let a quiet moan but loud enough for liam to hear.

liam moved his mouth down to zayn's neck beginning to leave a mark there. zayn moved his head to the side giving liam more room. liam began to walk forward, until he had zayn pressed up against the wall.

while liam still had his lips attached to zayn's neck, sucking and licking the warm skin, zayn pushed his hips forward and felt liam's dick harding under the touch.

"i want to fuck you." liam said against zayn's skin, pushing his hips forward to meet zayn's.

"do it." the bradford boy whimpered, letting his eyes fall shut.

the sound of liam's shirt falling to the floor moments later made zayn reopen his eye's. he let out a small whimper when he saw liam's bare chest. he moves without thinking, his mouth attaches to liam's chest without a doubt. he kisses and licks the skin, moving away to see how his skin glistens. "oh my god, you're so fucking hot."

liam makes a pleased hum in the back of his throat and surges forward, his hands going straight for his neck. his grip is light, his fingertips barely ghosting over the slick skin of his warm neck, his lips pressed tight and warm to zayn's. he licks zayn's bottom lip ann zayn feels his knees give out a little. liam chases his lips as one of his hands moves down to catch him. before zayn knows it, he is being lifted off the ground.

"fuck," zayn groans, placing his hands on liam's chest.

liam begins to make his way to zayn's room and when they get there liam pushes the door open with a loud smack. the lights in the room are off and there is natural light flowing in through the windows, giving the room some light. suddenly zayn loses the feeling of liam and instead feels his back hit his bed.

zayn opens his eyes and sees liam standing at the foot of the bed, he looks breathtaking, zayn thinks. liam crawls onto the bed and moves to take zayn's shirt off before he leans forward to catch zayn's lips in a soft kiss, lips already parted. zayn moans out when liam bites down on his bottom lip, pulling away while looking at him with darkened eyes. zayn's cock feels so heavy and he moves his hips upwards in an attempt to find something to rub against.

he finds liam's thigh, his cock moving against it through both his and liam's clothing. it's not the best feeling, but it'll do. some of the pressure begins to ease once zayn starts to rut against liam's thigh, their lips still caught in a messy kiss.

"liam," zayn moans "liam please."

liam takes that as a hint to trail his hand down to zayn's clothed cock, his hand running back and forth. "you like that? want me to take your pants off?"

"yes," zayn moans, his hips bucking up to add more pressure. liam's hands begin to move up to unbutton and unzip his pants. liam pulls them down and then moves to pull his own pants off too, leaving both the boys in just their underwear.

liam looks down at zayn's briefs, his hands moving back down to where the previously were. zayn looks down and sees the outline of his cock, thick and strained against the thin material. he ghosts his fingertips over his cock, looking up at him with a smug smile. "look how hard you are."

"can you please stop talking?" zayn whines, moving is hips around. "i need something, please."

liam moved to take zayn's boxers off. as liam pulls them off zayn feels the cool air hitting his cock. zayn watches liam take his cock in his hand, stroking sinfully with the jerk of his wrist.

"when do you want to come? now or wait?"

"wait until what?"

"until i'm fucking you." liam says licking his lips.

"i want to wait," zayn moans before he spreads his legs "c'mon then."

liam moves off of the bed and removes his briefs before looking back at zayn "lube? condoms?"

"the first drawer" zayn points of at his bedside table. liam walks over and grabs a bottle of lube and a condom before climbing back onto the bed and positions himself over zayn.

zayn watches as liam grabs the lube and spreads some over a few of his fingers.

"are you- is this okay?" liam asks with uncertainty in his voice, his fingertip barely touching zayn's rim.

"it's fine, good"

liam presses one finger inside of zayn with a clenched jaw, looking at him like he's about to break him. he slides in gently, and so painfully slow.

"more," zayn urges "add another"

liam presses his middle finger next to his index finger and slowly pushes back inside. zayn grunts, his hips making soft circles in attempt to get liam deeper inside of him. the bed groans under his weight shifting to different sides every other second, and liam makes a small noise when his fingers are completely pressed in zayn.

"do you need another?"

"just one more and then i'll be good."

liam presses his ring finger beside the first two and presses in again, the stretch burning slightly. he winces but settles into the feeling quickly, a whimper escaping his lips. liam begins to slowly move his fingers in and out of zayn.

"i'm ready," zayn moans after a few moments of liam fucking him with his fingers. liam nods before slowly removing his fingers, causing zayn to whine at the loss. liam reaches for the condom and tears it open before rolling it onto his cock. he then takes the bottle of lube with a shaky hand and spreads some onto himself.

zayn groans as liam lines himself up with zayn's hole and begins to slowly push in. "fuck,"

"are you alright?" liam asks once he's completely inside zayn.

"i'm good, yeah. you can move now. fuck me already."

liam nodded before pulling out and quickly pushing back into zayn, causing zayn to let out a loud moan. liam continued to move in and out of zayn as he bent down to kiss zayn.

"oh, god, liam." zayn says into liam's mouth. liam begins to slam into zayn at a faster pace causing both zayn and liam to moan even more. liam's hands moved from zayn's hips up to zayn's cock.

he grabbed zayn's cock and begins to stroke it in time with his thrusts. "you feel so good," liam groans, speeding up the snap of his hips. he's going harder now, too, the sound of their skin slapping together growing louder.

"liam, 'm close." zayn whines, moaning loudly afterwards. "so fucking close."

liam moans highly, the noise going straight to zayn's cock, making him that much closer to reaching his release.

"zayn- fuck, i'm close, too," liam moans. liam speeds up the movement of his hand that was wrapped around zayn's cock. liam continues to jack zayn off until zayn's hips buck up and he comes over liam’s hand and his chest while moaning liam's name.

liam then pulls out and rips off the condom, his hand instantly wrapping around himself. zayn mumbles something liam couldn't quite understand, before zayn reached up and pulled liam's hand off his cock and replacing it with his own.

liam groaned as zayn jacked him off, his hand slowly going faster. "can i blow you?"

'fuck," liam moaned "yes, yes, please." liam moved up until he was close enough to zayn's face. zayn moved his head up and kissed the head of liam's cock before licking around the cock. soon zayn wrapped his mouth around liam's dick and slowly bored his head up and down, liam going deeper into zayn's mouth each time.

liam began to thrust into zayn's mouth. "fuck, zayn, 'm close." liam pulled out of zayn's mouth and began to jack himself off until he reached his climax and spilled his load all over zayn's face, zayn trying to catch some of it in his mouth.

liam moved to lay down next to zayn and catch his breath, zayn doing the same. after a few moments of silence liam spoke up.

"so, uh, do you want to talk about what just happened?" liam glanced over at zayn and saw him with his eyes closed. he wondered if he was asleep but was quickly proved wrong when zayn began to speak, eyes still closed.

"let's do it later, i want to sleep." zayn mumbled.

"it's not even two o'clock yet, why are you wanting to sleep?"

"you wore me out." zayn slightly opened his eyes and glanced over at liam to find him already looking at him, his mouth moving into a small smile.

"do you want me get a flannel to clean us up or do you want to wait?" liam asked.

"whatever you want." zayn mumbled, yawning soon after. liam nodded before standing up off the bed and walked into the bathroom grabbing a cloth and wetting it before waking back to zayn's room to find zayn asleep already. he silently walked over to zayn and cleaned him up gently before pulling the sheets up to cover his body. after cleaning himself up and putting his boxers back on, liam climbed into the bed and curled up next to zayn before closing his eyes and dozing off.

//

when zayn woke up later that day he felt an arm draped over his torso. he glanced over and smiled when he saw liam sleeping peacefully next to him. as zayn laid there he thought about earlier the day. liam coming over demanding to know why zayn left the band. zayn admitting his feelings for the other boy. liam also admitting his feelings. having sex with him.

zayn wondered what it would be like know that they admitted their feelings for each other and then sleeping together. liam began to stir next to zayn and as zayn looked over at him just as he was opening his eyes.

"hey," liam mumbled, sleep heavy in his sleep.

"hi" zayn whispered back.

"what time is it?"

zayn moved to look at the clock sitting on his bedside table, "few minutes before five."

"oh, wow, we've been asleep for a while."

"yeah." zayn agreed moving to snuggle in closer to liam, causing liam to tighten his hold on zayn.

"are we going to talk about earlier?"

"the sex or before that?"

"both, i guess."

"yeah, okay," zayn nodded "do you want to do it while i make us some dinner?"

"that would be lovely." liam smiled. he removed the arm that was around zayn and let zayn crawl out of the bed before he moved to get out of the bed. he made up the bed slightly while zayn moved around his room to put on some underwear and a shirt.

"is that my shirt?" liam asked when he turned around and saw his grey t-shirt on zayn's body.

"yeah, uh sorry, i can take it off if you don't want me wearing it. i just saw it on the floor and it looked soft and comfy so i grabbed it." zayn rambled.

"no, i like it. it looks cute on you." liam walked over and gave zayn a quick kiss on his cheek causing the boy to blush. "so what are you making us for dinner?" liam changed the subject as both boys made their way to the kitchen.

"well, i have some chicken in my fridge that needs to be cooked soon, so i was thinking i could cook that along with squash and zucchini." zayn offered.

"sounds delicious." liam hums.

//

"we need to talk about earlier." liam said to zayn. zayn had cooked dinner and they had just sat down to enjoy it when liam brought it up again.

"i know," zayn nodded "i'm just not sure where to start."

"me either, i guess we start from the beginning." liam offered.

"what, like on when i decided to leave?"

"yeah, i guess," liam nodded "there just had to be more reasons on why you left, i couldn't have been the only reason on why you left."

"you weren't the only reason, but you were the main reason."

"but why not just confront me about it?"

"because i didn't know how you would react, i thought the best way i could get over you was to just leave, but that didn't work, i still loved you after months of me not even talking to you."

"okay, liam nodded, still not fully understanding it "what were the other reasons."

"well, uh, not many people know i'm gay, just louis, my family, and uh, management? And I guess you too now."

"management? why would you tell them?"

"i don't know, but if i could take it back i would, they treated me so poorly after that. they told me no one could find out i was gay, and if people did there would be severe consequences. they started telling me i couldn't speak in interviews, they made me get a beard and after a while i had to propose to her, just to prove to everyone i was straight." zayn explained.

"perrie was a beard?"

"yeah," zayn nodded

"did she know?"

"i don't know, i never asked her if she knew and i never asked management if they told her. She probably knew though. We barely hung out in private. We never even had sex."

"so they knew for a few years? that you were gay?"

"yes, they were actually one of the first people i came out to."

"what made you want to come out to them?"

"i don't know, to be honest. i think i did it because i thought i could trust them, but i was wrong."

"was louis the very first person you came out to?" liam asked as he pick up a piece of chicken on his fork and be gan to raise it up to his mouth.

"yeah, i actually wasn't planning to but we ended up getting high one night and i just sorta told him, i'm glad he accepts me."

"it's good you had someone to talk to about all of that stuff."

"yeah, louis has been my rock through all of this."

"thats really good. i have one more question though." liam said "what about gigi? once you left the band you started hanging out with her and there were a bunch of articles saying you two were dating. neither of you denied them."

"i met her at a club one night a few weeks before i left the band and after i left we started talking more. we became really close friends, i told her about me being gay and everything i had been through. when the articles came out i told her that i would deny the rumors but she came up with the idea to just let the public think we were dating since i still wasn't ready to come out. i wasn't against the idea so we never confirmed or denied the rumors. we just kind of let them happen." zayn explained.

"throughout these past months i've been talking to both her and louis, and i'm starting to really feel confident and accept the fact that i fancy boys and i think i'm ready to come out to the public real soon" zayn smiled lightly.

"that's really, really good. i'm happy that you're starting to feel more confident about it," liam spoke and zayn nodded in agreement as he chewed on his food. zayn and liam continued to eat silently for a few moments before liam spoke again. "we need to talk about the other thing."

"are you talking about the sex?" zayn said, already know that thats what liam was talking about.

"yeah." liam gulped.

"well, i thought the sex was lovely."

"me too." liam mumbles, blushing, feeling embarrassed talking about how great the sex was.

"i don't want the sex to stop."

"i don't want it to stop either, but you know me, i like commitment, so i don't want the sex to continue unless were dating." liam looked up at zayn.

"okay." zayn nodded.

"you mean you'll be my boyfriend?" liam spoke, a small smile growing on his face.

"of course." zayn reached over and grabbed liam's hand, running his thumb back and forth over liam's hand causing liam to smile even wider.

"i've been waiting for this to happen for years." liam laughed.

"me too." zayn laughed along with liam.

"but i don't want to come out to the public yet with our relationship."

"yeah, yeah, i understand, and i don't want to either. and it's not like management would let you." zayn sighed.

"yeah, but luckily me and the rest of the lads will be free from them soon."

"you're not going to re-sign with them?" zayn asked.

"nah, i think that over the break were all going to do some solo stuff and then later come back and figure out what to do as a band."

"do you think the band will come back or do you think you guys have grown out of the whole boy band thing?"

"i want to keep doing the boy band thing and i'm sure the lads do too." liam said, meaning it.

"that's good." zayn nodded.

"maybe you could come back to, if we ever get back together." liam suggested.

"maybe, i don't know." 

//

8 months later

"i can't believe you and liam have been together for eight months." louis spoke to zayn.

"i know, i still can't believe it either."zayn replied, smiling.

"have you two talked about coming out as a couple yet."

"some, but we haven't really thought about it much, i mean no one even knows that we're gay." zayn shrugged.

"do you want to come out, as gay?"

"yeah, i've been thinking about it and i want to do it soon i'm just not sure how and I just don't want to have to deal with all the questions after i do it."

"you could just tweet it, to post a picture on instagram or something and then not acknowledge it." louis suggested.

"maybe." zayn laughed. "maybe i'll just wait until liam is ready to come out and we can just come out as a couple, i'm in no rush to come out."

//

"have you thought about coming out?" liam asked his boyfriend, hours after zayn returned from louis' house

"yeah, i was actually talking about it with louis earlier. why?"

"i've been thinking about it lately and i think i'm ready to come out."

"as gay or as a couple?" zayn asked, curious.

"both, i guess, but only if you're okay with coming out as a couple." liam said, pulling zayn in closer to his chest.

"yeah, i've been thinking about it lately, too, and i think i want to."

"are you sure?" liam questioned, not wanting to feel like he was pressuring zayn into this.

"yeah, like i said, i've been thinking about it but i just never brought it up to you because i didn't know if you wanted to or not, and i didn't want you to think that i was pressuring you or something."

"no, I wouldn't have thought that"

"how soon are you wanting to come out"

"i don't know. not today, but, like, i also don't want to wait a few more months. i'd rather it be sooner than later." liam said.

"yeah, i agree. louis suggested that instead of making a huge announcement we could just tweet something or post a picture on instagram. you know something more low-key." zayn suggested.

"yeah that sounds better than making a huge announcement. i think posting a picture on instagram would be cool."

"yeah, me too" zayn smiled, leaning in to kiss liam on the cheek.

"then it's settled. we'll post a picture on instagram. we just need to figure out when."

"let's do that later. i want to watch a movie now" zayn spoke as he snuggled into liam and liam put his arm around zayn.

//

"are you ready" zayn asked, nervousness clear in his voice.

"yeah" liam nodded.

the two sat next to each other on the couch at zayn's house as they were both about to post a picture of them together on their instagrams so they could officially come out. it was a picture of both of them together from a few months ago. zayn has a big smile on his face as he was looking at the camera while liam was leaned over kissing zayn on the cheek. both zayn and liam have planned to write 'finally with the one I love' as the caption along with the date they began dating.

"okay. let's do it on the count of three" zayn spoke and liam nodded.

"one... two... three" they both hit post and the picture posted onto both of their instagrams and now the world finally knew that they were in love.

END


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